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”4. A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with -- transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.5. Back in the 1800’s the Tate’s Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California. This, of course, is the origin of the expression: “He who has a Tate’s is lost”6. A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, “We have absolutely nothing to go on.”7. An. I don't want you.No one wants you. Get out of here, get out of our lives and don't eventhink about talking to either of us again." Man, fuck both y'all," he said."You already did," Monica said in retort. "And now we're closed forbusiness."Then she got up, threw her drink in his face - something I'd learned inthe past few days she was surprisingly good at - and sat back down,signaling over to the waitress as he did. She came over and handed Brycea towel as she politely directed him toward the sidewalk, then turnedtoward us."Hi, yes," Monica said, getting right back into her routine. "She'llhave the Guiltless Greek Burger with a side of organic mixed greens, andI'll have the Chop Salad with Chicken." And for drinks?" Actually," I said, interrupting, "Can I get the Bacon Cheeseburger, noonions, with a side of tater tots? And we'll both just have water." Sure thing," she said, as she turned back inside."Pregnancy craving," I said to Monica, lying my ass off. I knew I wasgoing to have to.
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